The TARDIS Malfunction
by Optronix Prime
Summary: When The Doctor gets his T.A.R.D.I.S. stolen once again, it's all but good. When the thief ends up in Ancient Greece with it not working, she'll do anything to make things right.


**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. **_  
_

Everyone in the square stopped and turned to look at the large, blue machine that had materialized out of nowhere. Women screamed and grabbed their children, hurrying them away. Men of all shapes and sizes stared at the machine, moving to protect those who were not fit for war. It was hard to tell if something was going to come out of it. Everyone waited in silence, staring at the box. None of them had ever seen anything like it before.

The door opened, smoke bellowing out of it as a girl, wearing something so odd not even the gods could have imagined it, stumbled out, gasping for air. The girl's hair wasn't clipped back with golden jewelry. It tumbled down her shoulders, looking frizzy and unkempt. She did not wear any jewelry at all that they could see. She bore no chiton or sandals. Instead, some sort of rugged material clung to both legs and a form of heavy cloth embraced her chest and middle. It was of bright blue and purple, the sign of royalty. Only the highest class could afford such colorful clothing because the pigment was so hard to get ahold of. Also her toes were no visible to the crowd. They were shielded by some form of closed sandal.

The girl got to her feet, dusting her clothing off. Who was she and why was she here? The girl froze when she saw everyone staring at her.

"Umm….hello?" she said uncertainly.  
One young man stepped forward, his eyes cold. The girl eyed the sword strapped to his side.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"I could ask the same to you," she said coldly.

"I am Theseus, son of our king Aegeus," the man said, his chest puffing out.

It was all dawning on the girl. Where she was, what had happened. She was so far back in time. She knew she should have never taken the stupid time machine. But what was done was done and there was no going back now.

"And who are you?" Theseus asked, his eyes still narrowed at the girl.

"You can call me Penelope," she said softly. Theseus raised an eyebrow.

"Penelope? Where do you come from?" The other Athenians looked at her as through she was some sort of alien.

"Mass-" Penelope stopped herself, knowing that 'Massachusetts' wasn't a good answer. "I am from…Delphi."

"Well then…Penelope," he said her name with distaste. "You have had a long journey, yes? Perhaps you would like to come up to the palace and freshen up? Change into some…less disgraceful clothes?" Penelope looked down at her t-shirt. It was just a worn band tee. She had nothing revealing on; just jeans, sneakers, a toe ring that they couldn't see, her class ring, and a small nose piercing. Though this was nearly three thousand years ago. The standards in clothing obviously changed when she left Boston this morning.

"Sure thing." Theseus led the way. Cobbled stone wobbled under their feet as they walked. Many heads turned to stare at Penelope as they went. People whispered and muttered to each other as she passed, shooting her hateful looks. Penelope kept her head down, not wanting to meet their eyes.

Theseus didn't say much as they trekked up a very worn out path; mostly just verbal cues for her to move out of someone's way. When they got to the palace, Penelope was in awe. She'd seen pictures of Greek architecture. Those buildings were millennium old and lucky to be standing; but the building in front of her was stunning. Large white marble columns seamlessly fitted together. A huge open archway with delicate designs etched all around, some colored, others not. The stones used to make the walls fit together so well you would have thought it was plastered. The steps leading up to the building was polished and perfect, just like the rest of the palace. Penelope's eyes were wide as she tried to take it all in. Everything was glorious, and she had only seen the outside. She could hardly imagine what waited for her inside.

"This place is beautiful," she said quietly. Theseus smiled slightly, grabbing her wrist and leading her inside.

"Thank you," he replied, leading her up a grand staircase and to the second floor. Penelope could not stop looking at everything. Statues and paintings, plants and marble, it was so hard to look at everything as Theseus tugged her along. He brought her into a large, airy room and released her.

"Aigle, Sophronia, Ianthe!" Theseus shouted as he pulled back curtains to another room. Three women in simple Greek chitons hurried in. Their hair was clipped back off their neck.

"Yes, my lord?" they asked in unison.

"Please attend to Penelope. She is my guest. You are to find her proper clothes and make her presentable for this evening's activities." They nodded. "When that is done, bring her to the back garden. I shall wait there." They nodded again and Theseus strode off, leaving Penelope at the mercy of three unknown women.

Each servant introduced themselves as they bustled around. Sophronia was the girl with long blonde hair. Ianthe had long brown hair, so did Aigle. Thankfully for Penelope Aigle had freckles so she could easily tell the two a part. Ianthe also wore a simple golden chain around her neck to make the difference between them even greater.

"So what brings you to Athens?" Sophronia asked politely, laying a crisp, white chiton across the bed. Aigle brought out what Penelope assumed was cleaning supplies.

"Oh, just a change of scenery," Penelope replied dryly.

"If I could go anywhere, it'd be Delphi," Aigle said dreamily, setting the basket down. "Is it nice there? I've always wanted to visit that place." Penelope quickly thought about what she would say.

"It's beautiful there in the spring. The flowers are in full bloom. The place is nearly as pretty as Aphrodite." Aigle giggled, touching her hands to her heart.

"Someday, I'll get there."

"You say that every day," Ianthe pointed out. Before Aigle could retaliate, Penelope yelped as Sophronia started pulling her shirt off.

"What are you doing?!" she cried, tugging it back down. The three women looked surprised.

"Is there a problem, Miss?" Ianthe asked, looking her over.

"It today a bad day?" Aigle asked gently, resting a hand on Penelope's shoulder. "Does the milk run down, soaking into your cloth?" Penelope's eyes widen.

"No, no! I just…wasn't expecting you to start yanking…" she muttered under her breathe. The maids giggled.

"It is alright, Miss Penelope. I'll be sure to warn you next time," Sophronia said with a warm smile, moving to pull off her shirt again.

"What is that around your breasts?" Ianthe asked. Penelope looked down at her bra.

"Oh, nothing," she murmured, quickly unhooking it. She also unzipped and unbuttoned her pants because she guessed what was coming. She wasn't disappointed. Aigle tugged the pants down and Penelope kicked off her shoes, socks, jeans, and underwear. It was extremely hard for her not to grab something to cover herself. She knew the Greeks had no boundaries. They did create beautiful, naked statues after all.

Penelope was moved into a wash room. She was scrubbed down with water then lathered in what she realized was olive oil. There was some sort of smell to it, a flower of some type, but she wasn't sure of what kind.

After her "bath" they lead her back into the main room and dressed her. Sophronia got her into the chiton and sandals. Aigle brushed her hair out and put it up into a gorgeous array of curls and glimmering clips. Ianthe bedecked her in golden jewelry. A golden belt, earrings, rings, and the heaviest necklace Penelope had ever had to wear in her life. If they hadn't been so nice, she would have thought they were trying to crush her to death. She couldn't fathom wearing golden bangles every day. The hideous earrings her grandmother had given her were heavy; the necklace she had to wear now had to be ten times heavier.

Aigle brought out a small bowl of what look like fat black raspberries. She set them on a table in front of her. She pulled a long stone with a rounded bottom from the basket. She began crushing them as Sophronia straightened her chiton. Penelope almost asked Aigle what she was going, but thought better of it. The less ignorant she appeared the better.

Sophronia took the bowl from Aigle when she was done juicing them. The bowl had a dark purple liquid filling it. Sophronia dipped her finger in, brought it to Penelope's lips, and spread it across. It clicked into place for Penelope. They were staining her lips. Once Sophronia was done, she set the bowl down and wiped her black fingers on a bit of cloth from the basket. Ianthe took a small box from the table. It was full of a black powder. Ianthe artfully smeared it across her eyes like eye shadow. From one wiff she could tell it was some kind of coal-ash mixture. Ianthe stepped back, cleaning her hands off on the cloth. They all smiled at her.

"You look beautiful," Ianthe said with a large smile. Aigle giggled happily and squealed,

"You could be a princess!" Sophronia, who Penelope decided was much older than the other two, simply smiled approvingly.

"Thank you all very much." They bowed. Ianthe and Aigle went into what Penelope thought was the servants quarters. Sophronia led the way down to the back gardens. Theseus turned to them when he heard their approach.

"My lord," Sophronia said with a slight bow. "May I present, Miss Penelope of Delphi."

"Thank you, Sophronia. You may leave us." Sophronia bowed again and left Penelope alone with Theseus. He walked up to her, a soft smile on his lips. "You clean up nicely." She smiled.

"Thank you." Penelope looked around. It was beautiful. Flowers of a light pink bloomed freely all around. A sparkling fountain bubbled cheerily in front of them. Birds sang a soft, happy tune. It was a quiet and peaceful place to be.

"You are not from Delphi, are you?" Theseus' tone was not mad or accusatory, simply curious.

"No, I am not."

"Then where are you from? Your accent does not match any of those that I have encountered before. The clothing you wore before was unlike any I have ever seen. Tell me where you come from." Theseus sat down on a stone bench. Penelope sat down beside him.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she said quietly, looking at the fountain.

"There is nothing I wouldn't believe," he replied shortly. Penelope turned to gaze at him.

"You really think that?"

"I do."

"Alright then. I am from America hundreds of years in the future. I borrowed a time machine from someone and ended up coming here." Theseus looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"You-you travel through time…? How is that possible?" Penelope shrugged.

"Beats me."

"So that blue box you arrived in? Is that your machine?"

"Yes it is. It's called a T.A.R.D.I.S. 'Time And Relative Dimension In Space.' I'm borrowing it…from a friend. It's how I got here." Theseus nodded slowly. She could tell he was trying to understand it all, but simply couldn't. "I understand if you think I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy. I think it's brilliant! I just don't understand why the machine is some sort of box." Penelope smiled.

"It's The Doctor's fault."

"Doctor who?" Theseus asked, confused. Penelope smiled wider.

"Exactly." Theseus gave up on questioning her.

"So you will be leaving then?"

"Hopefully. When I appeared here, something went wrong. Everything blew out. Lights flashed and something shrieked. I think I might be broken. I-I might be stuck here forever!" Penelope cried, the sudden realization crashing down on her. Theseus wrapped an arm around her waist in a one-armed hug.

"I know what we must do. We will go to the Temple of Hephaestus with an offering and pray that he will bless you with a repaired ship." Penelope regarded him carefully.

"And what if he doesn't? From my time, this-this is all myth," she said as she gestured around. "We know that you lived, but the stories of your gods, of your heroes are all myth. There isn't any proof that they even exist."

"Well what do you believe in?" he asked her, his chin held high.

"Well…God. One god, not many gods."

"And do you pray to him in times of need?"

"Yes, I do."

"And is there any proof that he exists?" Penelope went silent. "That's what I thought. You may not believe in our Olympians, but we do. You are on their homeland; therefore you must try to believe. Whatever stories you have heard about them are most likely true. The gods are power, almighty. They can repair your machine. They can do anything." Penelope thought about that for a few minutes. She wasn't sure if they were real. She'd read _Percy Jackson_ as a child, but that couldn't real, could it? The more she thought, the more her head started to hurt. She decided there could be only one way.

"I will try to believe in your gods, Theseus." Theseus nodded, standing up. He offered her his hand and she took it. He pulled her up and walked back into the palace with her.

"If you will remain here, I will gather what we need for the offering and this trip," he informed her. Penelope nodded, standing in the main room to wait for him. After what felt like several hours to Penelope, Theseus returned, to large baskets on his arms.

"Come, my lady, our chariot is here," Theseus said with a wave of his arm to the large open archway. They walked down the steps to a large, carefully crafted chariot. Golden designs laced the sides and wheels. It looked sturdy, but the open back uneased Penelope. Theseus climbed right in, setting his baskets on the floor and taking up the reins of the two snow white horses. Penelope got in after a quick, sharp look from Theseus.

"Are-are you sure we aren't going to fall out?" she practically whimpered. Theseus chuckled.

"I take it they don't have chariots in this America," he replied easily.

"Nope. We don't."

"If you are worried around falling out, then wrap your arms around my waist. I am rock solid. I do not fall out of chariots," he boasted, his chest puffing out once more. Penelope smiled softly, doing as he had suggested. Theseus whipped the reins and the horses took off. The journey was long. It took several hours to get to the temple. The whole time Penelope stood, arms wrapped around his abdomen. The ride was so bumpy and jerky that if she hadn't held on to him she would've fallen out within the first few minutes.

It was hot with the sun bearing down on them. Penelope could feel the oil on her skin hardening. It made her entire body feel like it was being suffocated in cling wrap. Her feet kept cramping up because she'd been standing on them for so long.

_ 'How could they stand to travel like this? It was brutal! It's a living nightmare!'_ Penelope thought as they rode along the dusty road. It more of a dirt trail than a road in Penelope's opinion.

Theseus called his horses to a stop. Penelope literally had to pry herself away from his back. She cracked her joints back into place as she stepped off and stretched. Theseus tied his horses to a tree and walked back over to the chariot. He pulled out one of the baskets.

"Would you happen to be hungry, my lady?" Theseus asked her, gesturing to the basket. Penelope was extremely hungry, but wasn't going to say anything to him. It wasn't like they had McDonald's in Ancient Greece.

"Very much so." Theseus smiled and settled down under a laurel tree. He pulled a large piece of cloth out and laid it out on the ground. Penelope smiled back at him and sat down on the cloth. Theseus pulled out bread, fruit, cheese, and a jug of something. He poured her a goblet of a dark liquid and offered it to her.

"Athens' finest," he stated as she took it.

"Umm…what is it?" Theseus looked taken aback.

"It is wine, of course."

"Wine? I've never had wine before."

"Never? It is the drink created by Dionysus himself."

"I know that. It's just where I'm from, I'm not old enough to drink," Penelope informed Theseus as he poured his own goblet of wine.

"Well then, may you enjoy it." She smiled, raising her chalice.

"Here, here."

Penelope had never had such rich, fresh food in all her life. Everything was home grown or hand made. The cheese was fresh from this morning; newly baked bread, just plucked grapes. Everything was simply delicious. Even the wine was superb, though Penelope held back to one glass for her mother's sake.

"Thank you for this, Theseus. It was lovely."

"No, thank you, my lady, for sharing it with me." They smiled at one another.

They packed up and Theseus left to exchange the baskets. When he returned, he took her hand and walked into the temple. Penelope's first thought was: _'How did I miss this?'_ The temple was huge. The flawless white marble glittered like pearls in the afternoon sun. She wasn't given much time to look for Theseus walked her into the temple.

Two huge statues were at the end of the room. Penelope instantly recognized Athena and Hephaestus. Bronze braziers glowed with fire between every other column. People were kneeling beside them, heads bowed in prayer. Several people were at the front by the statues praying. Theseus and Penelope walked up to an open brazier. Theseus knelt down; Penelope followed suit.

"Oh mighty Hephaestus, god of craftsmanship and fire, please heed our offerings," he said into the flames as he pulled out a large dead chicken and dropped it into the flames. "Please Hephaestus, hear our cry. We need the time machine fixed in order to send Penelope back to where she belongs. Great God of Fire and Creation, hear my prayer!" Theseus pulled out a beautiful golden necklace and tossed it into the flames. "For our god's beloved, a token of our faith."

The two of them sat there, kneeling for a long time; waiting for a sign from Hephaestus. Penelope's knees were starting to ache pressed up against the hard marble. She wanted to believe in him, she tried all she could. If Theseus was real, so was the gods, all of them. They were just as real as the 21st century.

Everyone stopped their praying when a whooshing, roaring noise filled the temple. Theseus and Penelope stared at each other, not believing their ears.

"Your machine!" Theseus cried. "He fixed it! Hephaestus fixed it!" Theseus took to his feet, picking Penelope up, spinning her around. Penelope beamed, hugging him tightly.

"He did! He really did!" Theseus set her down, smiling almost sadly.

"I suppose it is time for you to go…" he mumbled. Penelope reached up and touched his face gently.

"It is, but I won't forget you, Theseus. You will never be forgotten. Your legacy goes down in history. Remember that." Penelope leaned up and kissed his other cheek. She pulled away, moving towards the T.A.R.D.I.S.

"Wait! Penelope!" Theseus rushed after her, grabbing her hand. She turned to him as he pulled off a golden bracelet and snapped it on her wrist. "For you, dear Penelope, so you won't forget me." Penelope smiled sadly, pulling off her class ring and pressing it into his hand.

"It's called a class ring. Where I come from, it's very important. I give it to you to remember me." Theseus slipped it on his ring finger.

"I will never forget you, Penelope." She stepped into the blue machine, giving him one last smile.

"Do me a favor, okay?"

"Anything."

"When you sail home from Crete, with the Princess Ariadne, remember to sail home with white sails and not black, alright?" Theseus looked lost, but nodded.

"I will do so, my lady!"

The door to the T.A.R.D.I.S. shut and a minute later the whooshing started up again. Theseus fell to his knees, a sadness sweeping through him.

"Goodbye, my love, my Penelope."

**********/Page Break/**********

The T.A.R.D.I.S. touched down in a small park just outside the major city of Boston. The moment everything settled the doors to the T.A.R.D.I.S. flew open. The Doctor and Rose burst through the door looking livid.

"Whatcha think you're doin', mate?!" The Doctor shouted at Penelope. "You can't go around stealing other people's T.A.R.D.I.S.'s!"

"I wasn't stealing it, I was borrowing it!" Penelope shouted back at him.

"What are you wearing?" Rose asked, looking her over.

"It's a chiton," Penelope said proudly. She shoved passed both Rose and The Doctor and out into the park. They stared at her along with everyone else as she emerged. Penelope didn't care one bit. She was just happy to be home again.

She stopped and looked up into the bleeding red sky.

"I'll never forget you, Theseus. Not ever. I'll see you in the Underworld."

**A/N: I know it's not very "Doctor Who-ish" but I'm still proud of it for my first Doctor Who fic. **

**Thank you in advance for your review**

**~Nix**


End file.
